So I wrote and emailed this letter a few days ago:
We are writing to you regarding a situation with our younger daughter Kate [redacted] and a classmate of hers [redacted]. Although most of the time Classmate and Kate purport to befriends, even in the terminology of the day “BFFs”, they have conflicts that are natural to children. However, some of Classmate’s actions toward Kate have been physically aggressive and are crossing the line.
Last year, Classmate pulled Kate’s jumper up over her head at recess, embarrassing our daughter. For awhile afterward, Kate “played sick” for several mornings, not wanting to go to school. (I wrote about that here.)
We spoke with [Kate's awesome teacher] about that situation, and she has been very responsive. She said she had noticed conflict with the two girls, and worked to keep them separate from each other to avoid the drama that little girls can provoke. So far, we have been happy with the school’s response. Kate and Classmate seem to have been doing well sofar.
Two days ago, Classmate slapped Kate across the face at extended day. As far as we can tell, this was unprovoked or, at the least, an aggressive reaction to normal play. Kate didn’t tell on Classmate, but our older daughter Flora did inform the extended day caretaker [name redacted], about the incident. We do not know what action was taken at that time.
We have asked Kate to report any aggressive action of Classmate’s to the nearest adult immediately. We have also asked Kate to not play with Classmate, or to avoid Classmate if the girl seems to be in a bad mood or troublesome.
We are worried about Kate being the target of Classmate’s aggression. We would like to speak with you about further actions we can take to protect our child. For the record, we don’t think Classmate is a bad child. However, her behavior is unacceptable and needs to be addressed. If Classmate’s parents and step-parents need to be brought into the conversation, we are willing to meet with them also.
Thank you so much for your prompt attention to this matter.
The principal wrote back to Dan and me, saying she was going to speak with the extended day caretaker, Classmate, and Classmate’s parents. I thanked her, and I’m not going to pursue this further with the school unless I have to.